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Neither Here, Nor There


Some days it feels as though I live between two worlds. One foot firmly planted right where I want to be and the other, well on a path I never imagined. The hardest part for me is reconciling the two.  I've yet to master it & in fact this is my most recent prayer request. I am not good at balancing, anyone who knows me, knows I don't ride the fence.  So this betwixt & between is rather unnerving, to say the least, and in fact, challenges my life of "being real".  Who is the "real" me, the firmly planted one or the one who questions every step on the rocky path? How can I be both???

I share this because maybe you have been where I am, maybe you see it coming in your life.  I don't have answers for you tonight, I simply say that I know the One who will reconcile all things.  "ALL" being my favorite part!  He will make sense out of all the crazy, restore ALL things & makes beauty from my ashes (this blog is, in fact, just one way He will fulfill this promise to me!) .  That Hope holds my head up tonight.  That Hope keeps my eyes set upon Him and off the storm brewing around me.  That Hope allows me to jump out of the boat & walk on the water with Him, knowing I will not sink as long as my gaze is fixed on His goodness.  

So in this light, once again, what does it matter where I stand?  Am I less authentic because of this duality in my life I cannot control? What matters most,"who I am" or "Whose I am"? Since we could spend our whole lives "finding ourselves" and never getting beyond our own nose, never accomplish anything of any consequence what good is that?  But if I rather rest in "Whose" I am then I can get over myself and on with the purpose of this life - bringing the Hope, that I have come to know first hand, to those in need. 

Until the day that I see my Savior face to face, I wait - one foot firmly planted on the Rock and the other on the rocky path.  One day soon He will reach down, take my hand & pull me fully upon the ROCK and I will thank Him for the time I spent in two places for I will have learned something there I could learn nowhere else.


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