Skip to main content

your name

 I hardly know how to put it into words.  Yesterday my heart took at hit, and the breath knocked from my lungs, as I saw in black and white that your name had been erased from the list of our family.  Oh, it’s just business, but the shock of it stirred the pain that now lives in my momma heart and it welled up and threatened to breach…  

Blindsided.  That’s how I feel.  And if there is one thing I really hate, it is being blindsided.  Somehow, if you can see it coming, you’re able to brace for the impact and not be shattered.  But when out of the blue you get slammed, there is no defense.  Just full impact.  And it hurts in ways and places you can’t even imagine.

You’ve been gone over a year and life goes on.  Oh, I know.  I know it all too well.  There will be those who will never have known you but my mind struggles to accept the practicality.  But my heart, see it only knows what it knows – just because you are not here doesn’t mean you don’t exist anymore and my heart loves to hear your name…  John-David Matthew. 


So, even as the world begins to forget, grace will respond to the wounding.  For my heart is steadfast in the Hope of Christ, knowing one day soon, I will get to call your name again and you will come running…

Comments

  1. I know that Christ will grant you His blessing of seeing your son run to your arms some day. Meanwhile, it is your joy to share HIM who gave John David Matthew Potts the love that so touched you and so many others. Love, Poppa

    ReplyDelete
  2. sending you love and prayers.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Did something touch your heart? Please share about it.

Popular posts from this blog

When the pain get too big

There are times when the heartbreaks of this life collide with our weakness and the pain gets so big that even breathing is hard.  It’s like being dragged under by the surf and tumbled over and over until up is down and you’re dragged along the bottom and raw wounds meet with salted surf and the searing pain of it is only a faint echo of the pain within your soul and you gasp for breath and flail helplessly, like a rag doll, until you’re eventually released upon the shore coughing up the brine of your own tears… This is where I have been. Literally on the verge of tears at every moment.   Memories, regrets, sorrow, missing, aching, loss - churning, growing to tsunami intensity threatening to overwhelm.   Today I received a devotional from a Jewish Messianic site challenging us regarding the Sabbath.   Oh, how my soul yearned for it.   A Sabbath, a rest.   But the to-do list haunted and I headed to the shower to start the day.   All the while rest was beckoning to me…   What h

It matters not

It matters little who I am. Each one of us has a story to tell, a life filled with love, loss, heartache, joy & laughter.  I am just a busted up pitcher.  Yes, the image that came to your mind - whether one you pour iced tea from, the one with the chip on the lip so it spills as much down the outside of your glass as gets in. Or the little creamer pitcher your gramma had in her hutch, the one with the broken handle that has glue globbed on it's listing side.  Or the one that you pour oil with, the one with the faint crack you overlook because you never think to replace it while you are shopping.  Oh, or maybe it's the purple plastic juice jug that hit the heating coil in the dishwasher... melted a hole an inch from the top but you never fill it that full anyway. No matter what image came to your mind, that's me.  The true value of a pitcher is not it's appearance or even its purpose but it's what the pitcher holds that is precious.  The sole purpose of the p

Un-becoming

Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure"-- for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. [Rev 19:7-8]   We’ve all been to weddings. Everything focuses around the bride. My favorite moment is to watch the groom as he catches the first glimpse of his bride, he’s overcome by her beauty – she’s prepared herself specifically and especially for this day.   Now imagine, how does the bride of Christ prepare herself to be radiant for her beloved? Righteous deeds, good works… As I pondered this passage and how it applies to this season,  I heard “Un-becoming” . I sense that this season we are in is a cleansing period, a time of preparation.   UN   becoming who we’ve become; busy, weary, anxious, overburdened, chameleon – being who others want or expect us to be. Lost, depressed, frustrated, needy.  And instead, shed the shackl

Buying Time

The world will tell you that “time is money.” In part, it’s true.  Every moment is precious and we can only spend it once.  We sell off bits of the gift of time, our life, to buy things that we think add to our happiness here.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve become dissatisfied with this exchange.  This spending of the most precious to gain the fleeting.  I’ve not bought into the American “bigger/more is better” but it’s so easy to just slip into the daily-ness of life here that we can’t remember how we actually spent the past week, month, year…  Same old, same old as the sand slips quickly through the hourglass.  Oh, wealth can afford you to hire people to free up some of your time, but you have to maintain the wealth, that takes time.  But what if I told you that you could buy more time. How much would you want? What would you be willing to sell to buy it? The paradigm shift comes when you realize that Time   is the most valuable commodity on earth.  It’s easy, fro