A transparent moment I feel compelled to share. I hope you are encouraged, but even more that you are challenged to believe God more. (This is from my time with the LORD this morning, pardon the rambling of my heart. But I imagine that it might, at least in part, reflect some of your own experience, so let us walk together a bit and encourage one-another.)
Good morning LORD,
Today I asked You to tell me the most important thing about Yourself and I opened Your Word and it came to Malachi 1:2 “I have loved you.” I nearly turned past it because that seemed so obvious to me, but then stopped because had I asked and so must trust that You answered. I read the rest of the chapter and could hear Your heartbreak, that Your people had so little concern for You that they not only didn’t bring You their best, they brought you what they would not even offer the governor. (I dare say, even what they themselves wouldn’t eat…) I am shamed because Your Word is a mirror to my own life. Do I bring You my best? Or do I give You my leftovers, if even that? I am sorry LORD because I cannot say that You always get my best. Often my intentions are good… But if I do not act upon them, do they not stand accusing me?
My Beloved King, Father, I desire to love You better, love You rightly. Holy Spirit help me. Help me to be quick to eagerly obey, joy-full to offer the best of myself and what You have entrusted me to govern. Thank You for asking for my boots. It doesn’t matter what I wear, it matters only that I serve You well, re-present You well, love You well.
Recently the question has been posed, by varies sources, “Do we really believe that what we believe is true?” It seems nonsensical, “Of course we believe what we believe is true, otherwise we would not believe it!” until you ponder it in the light of how we live our lives…
If we really believe that God IS who He says He is, how is it that we live as if we no eternal accountability? If we believe that God sent His only Son Jesus Christ to live, die and overcome death that we might have eternal life, expressing the greatest of love, calls Himself the Lover of our souls. How is it that we respond with ambivalent faith, doubting that Love at the least sign of hardship? If we believe that Your Word is Truth, how is it that we who claim to love and follow You do not even make it a priority to read it? (insert sobbing emoji here)
I have failed LORD, to make regular assay of my life. Ponder deeply who You are, Your call upon my life, Your will and test my life to see if it aligns with what I proclaim to believe about You. Would You forgive me LORD? I rest in the magnitude of Your Mercy & Grace and receive Your forgiveness. Thank You. I promise to sit with You purposefully and make regular assay to ensure that I might be faithful to live not only to fulfil the call upon my life, but to live in a manner that speaks the Gospel, shouts of Your goodness, loves You with everything in me and loves your children as my own. Teach me how to love You better as I strive to bring You my best. Let every decision, thought, action – my very life, be lived in true faith, belief of Your Truth. Let me let go of who I think I am, often defined by success or failure, but instead see myself as You say I am – searching Your Word for my true design. Let me let go of my agenda for my life, let me sit with You and listen to Your leading, Your will and call. Then let me eagerly fling away all that might hinder the life you prepared for me before the foundation of the world. I proclaim my trust in You and not in man – You alone provide, not even the work of my hands is my own. I thank You for all You provide to care so very well for me. Help me to trust You more. Trust not in my bank balance, retirement fund, paycheck, government program, even insurance. Let my trust be placed in the One Who is, Who Was and Who is to come. The unchanging God who says HE will provide for my every need. I let go of my wants and trust that because You love me so very much and very well, I will have more than enough. And I trust You enough to at times express my heart’s desire and then leave it in Your hands to provide as You see fit, not take it for myself. Holy Spirit, make haste and bring me confidence to live as one called by my God. To never shrink away from His direction, never let fear or unforgiveness rule me or cause me to disobey. Enlighten His Word to me that my heart would be tilled and ready soil to receive it, ready for new growth. Change my perspective to live in light of eternity now, realizing that now is mere mist, our lives but a vapor. And let us hasten to make the most of each day, each hour, for the Day of the LORD fast approaches and I most desire to have good gifts to offer when He arrives. Amen.
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