Skip to main content


Distrust was birthed in me the moment I looked at a situation and deemed it "not good".  That, somehow, the Author either was not good or could not be trusted to bring about goodness. It that momentary misjudgment I chose to disconnect with the One who holds all things together. To elevate my view to supremacy thereby opening the door to doubt and fear. 

Once fear and doubt took up residence, the frequency with which I deemed any particular situation to be "not good" increased. And what was at one time a knee jerk reaction to pain, to wounded-ness, now became an automated response to things simply dissatisfying. It took on a life of its own. The root of ingratitude wound its way deep into my soul. Unannounced, undetected, except by those whose lives had been transformed once it had been painfully extracted.

Ingratitude. If unforgiveness can hold us in bondage to depression and unrelieved grief, then surely ingratitude binds us to fear and anxiety.  In any given moment we either choose to gratefully trust or distrust which births fear, stress, and anxiety.

At this very moment, this truth is seeping into the inmost places of my soul. I can physically feel it piercing the hardened flesh, bringing Truth into the darkness. "If ingratitude births distrust, then gratitude must birth trust and trust when full-grown gives birth to faith..."
               Gratitude    births   trust            Trust    births    faith

Then my state of distrust, faithlessness did not arise out of another's failure to act, or upon the offense inflicted, the wound gouged deep, but rather from the fact that I failed to see God present in the darkness. Failed to give thanks for Jesus, to Jesus. Failed to acknowledge that no matter the circumstance that He is worthy of thanks at all times and in all things.   In fact, that is what He asks of us, for our own good!!!!!! Did you get that?  He tells us to give thanks for and in all things.  I never considered why He gave this command, just thought it pleased Him and exhibited faith.  Oh, how small minded am i.   It is for our good that He commands it!!! Thanksgiving builds trust, He knew, knows, that this is our great mortal need and He hardwired its satisfaction right into the fabric of our faith. Oh, how good is our great God, that all His commands are for us, for our good.  To reconnect us to the One who holds all things together! Regardless of the circumstance, His substitutionary death on my behalf is more than enough reason for thanksgiving. If nothing else, the whisper of His Name affords it.

Once I understand this, then I can see. See that there is more, see that God has been there in the darkness and I have been held safe in the cleft as His Glory passed by. Thanksgiving is an act of will and wisdom to those who would be trained by it. 

Rom 1:21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. (Emphasis mine)

1Th 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 

(Emphasis mine)

1Th 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 
(Emphasis mine)

Thanksgiving bleeds across the canvas transforming everything it touches. Overpowering the translucent borders that teeter untrustworthy under the heavy stroke of fear. Seeping into the warp and weave of the canvas, staining, becoming. Refining the palette to reflect the Author's trustworthy hand.        


  1. Piercing, Sister. Beautifully Written & Hauntingly True.

  2. Written from the heart that has been tested...beautioful!


Post a Comment

Did something touch your heart? Please share about it.

Popular posts from this blog

Gilgal – An unknown heart’s desire fulfilled

– An unknown heart’s desire fulfilled
My response to El Greco’s painting of “Christ on the Cross” circa 1600
You’ve haunted me since early youth captured, yet not knowing why. The agony was clear to see “languish” is the word that comes yet understanding escaped me and yet I still was drawn.
For years the image would come and then go. For years I’d ponder with sorrow For years I’d long to see you again And yet still not knowing why.
A fortnight passed and world away and I knew before I turned Your presence beckoned me Heart racing, feet rushing, boldly approaching You Causing alarm, laughable now, for it was love that drew me to You
Standing in Your Presence Tears of knowing joy Love so deep its painful Soaking You in Breathing You in Never wanting to leave Grateful for the most intimate gift.
Knowing now (even in the smallest part) leaves me in awe and wonder more. Oil on canvas, nay, but more.Heavenly power imbued. It seeketh and it haunteth till the work of God is fu…

The Throne Room

Recently my sister and I had a conversation about the Throne Room of God and it reminded me of a precious encounter with The LORD a few years ago.  I share it that it might encourage you to enter His Presence, find the Love we all so desperately need, the Peace that surpasses all understanding, and an intimate relationship with The Almighty God through His Son, Jesus. Come, He is waiting…  The room is vast and i sense others there but do not see them. i feel all eyes are on me, yet it matters not.  i am drawn so strongly to the one before me that it's as though there is a tether in my heart that is being pulled in with each solemn footfall.  i am aware of nothing else, only this and only Him. The steps before me are gray, smooth, nondescript, but for the beautiful feet that rest upon the top one.  There are three steps and as i sit on the second step and pull the robe about me, i am aware of its vastness. It is deep scarlet red and Its train covers my every step. May a hunger for His P…

The Promise

The Promise
Can you see it?
When life swirls and hurls and feels out of control and we’ve lost our ability to even care, what in the world are we to do?
Remember the promises.
Lay hold of them.Lay our hand upon the Truth and let that Truth seep deep into every fiber of our being.Lay hands upon the rock solid, unchanging, ever present, steadfast promises of God.The ones given in His Word and the ones written on our hearts and the ones whispered in the dark.Remember them, meditate upon them, breath them in.
NO thing is impossible for our God.Did you hear that?How many times have you said that very phrase?But how many times have you actually dared to believe it, dared to act on it?
You see, there was this girl.She had her heart set on going to the Holy Land.Some may call it part of a bucket list.This was the only thing in this girl’s bucket!Problem was she was an ordinary girl, living an ordinary life, who grew up to be ordinary with ordinary job, ordinary income and responsibilities.It…