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Distrust was birthed in me the moment I looked at a situation and deemed it "not good".  That, somehow, the Author either was not good or could not be trusted to bring about goodness. It that momentary misjudgment I chose to disconnect with the One who holds all things together. To elevate my view to supremacy thereby opening the door to doubt and fear. 

Once fear and doubt took up residence, the frequency with which I deemed any particular situation to be "not good" increased. And what was at one time a knee jerk reaction to pain, to wounded-ness, now became an automated response to things simply dissatisfying. It took on a life of its own. The root of ingratitude wound its way deep into my soul. Unannounced, undetected, except by those whose lives had been transformed once it had been painfully extracted.

Ingratitude. If unforgiveness can hold us in bondage to depression and unrelieved grief, then surely ingratitude binds us to fear and anxiety.  In any given moment we either choose to gratefully trust or distrust which births fear, stress, and anxiety.

At this very moment, this truth is seeping into the inmost places of my soul. I can physically feel it piercing the hardened flesh, bringing Truth into the darkness. "If ingratitude births distrust, then gratitude must birth trust and trust when full-grown gives birth to faith..."
               Gratitude    births   trust            Trust    births    faith

Then my state of distrust, faithlessness did not arise out of another's failure to act, or upon the offense inflicted, the wound gouged deep, but rather from the fact that I failed to see God present in the darkness. Failed to give thanks for Jesus, to Jesus. Failed to acknowledge that no matter the circumstance that He is worthy of thanks at all times and in all things.   In fact, that is what He asks of us, for our own good!!!!!! Did you get that?  He tells us to give thanks for and in all things.  I never considered why He gave this command, just thought it pleased Him and exhibited faith.  Oh, how small minded am i.   It is for our good that He commands it!!! Thanksgiving builds trust, He knew, knows, that this is our great mortal need and He hardwired its satisfaction right into the fabric of our faith. Oh, how good is our great God, that all His commands are for us, for our good.  To reconnect us to the One who holds all things together! Regardless of the circumstance, His substitutionary death on my behalf is more than enough reason for thanksgiving. If nothing else, the whisper of His Name affords it.

Once I understand this, then I can see. See that there is more, see that God has been there in the darkness and I have been held safe in the cleft as His Glory passed by. Thanksgiving is an act of will and wisdom to those who would be trained by it. 

Rom 1:21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. (Emphasis mine)

1Th 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 

(Emphasis mine)

1Th 5:18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 
(Emphasis mine)

Thanksgiving bleeds across the canvas transforming everything it touches. Overpowering the translucent borders that teeter untrustworthy under the heavy stroke of fear. Seeping into the warp and weave of the canvas, staining, becoming. Refining the palette to reflect the Author's trustworthy hand.        


  1. Piercing, Sister. Beautifully Written & Hauntingly True.

  2. Written from the heart that has been tested...beautioful!


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